No Free Lunch

“Neither a borrower nor a lender be;

For loan oft loses both itself and friend,

And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.”

                                    Lord Polonius, Hamlet, 1602

In an uncommon disclaimer, I must confess to having suckled from the hind teat of government. During my last year of college somebody in the dean’s office let us know about a government loan program that had just become available to the veterinary students. We could borrow a substantial sum, if memory serves it was $1500.00, and they would toss in a $500.00 grant. Free money. I turned it down, for I had enough banked to get me through the rest of the year, and I didn’t want to be in debt when I graduated. Then someone more learned in these matters talked me into taking the offer.

I did what he said, and put the loan into the bank, and then paid back the note when it was due during my first year of employment. And I bought a new stereo with the $500.00 worth of free money from the grant.

Such a deal.

Now, before you drop me into the welfare cheat category, please remember…I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t seek it out. I just opened my hand when it dropped out of the sky. Free money. From the government.

Did it influence me to like my government more? Ah, no. This was in 1972 and we were enmeshed in the Vietnam War, and liking the government was not real high on my list. I suppose there might be some point where I might be bought by my government, but since I like and trust my government far less now than I did back in the 70’s, I don’t think that likely.

I figure that’s the point, you know. The government gives you some money, and that makes you like the government. Some politician makes it easier for you to capture government money, and you like that dude better, and you keep him in office. Buying votes…it’s as old as democracy itself.

The tradeoff is still there. The money comes your way, but now you are obligated, and thus you ship off your freedom in the other direction, and soon enough the government owns more of you, and the people who set up these deals become more deeply entrenched in power.

These days they still give some folks free money. Free food, free housing, free medical. Buy the poor folks’ votes. Free money and medical, and they buy the old folks’ votes.

Remember when the deal was easy credit? The government loosened the rules so anyone could borrow more than they could pay back. Did you notice the housing crash? Back in the 90’s our intrepid president garnered all kinds of voter support by making it crazy easy to borrow money to purchase a house. Expanded the middle class, because home ownership defines whether you made it to middle class, and boy will you love that president. Too bad when it all fell apart.

Twas inevitable, and those bastards knew it. But look who makes out like bandits when they repossess your dream. Think those bankers don’t know a few folks in government? Heck, they buy them lunch every once in a while just to be nice in return.

All those folks protesting in the streets lately finally recognized the trap they were in, but don’t you wonder about the simple greed they harbored when they signed up for that mostly free money, even though they had to know that there was no way the market could support such nonsense forever? They all blame somebody else, but where are the mirrors?

Education loans put some folks out on the streets protesting too. People borrowed unbelievable amounts of money to fund their educations, with no reasonable expectation that they could repay it once they were out and working. A hundred K borrowed for a graduate degree in English lit. A hundred and fifty for a law degree. Even more in my profession, where you can start working for 60K a year if you can find a job, and spend your entire adult life paying off that school loan.

Whatever were we thinking?

I thought the wakeup call had arrived. And then I saw a post on the internet from a student in veterinary medicine that made me kinda shake my head. This person has had a career before, and decided her life’s dream was still possible, so she went back to school and finally made it into veterinary college. She will be 45 when she graduates. And she will owe $350,000. That translates into $3500.00 a month for, oh, forever. I guess she can live on the twelve cents a month left after that, if she is supported by someone else.

Once wise people said that there was no such thing as a free lunch. Well, there ain’t no such thing as free money, either. Maybe, that was the plan all along. Maybe it was designed to crash. Break down the economy. Bust all the big companies and all the small businesses. Call upon the government to save us all. Use government to put folks to work. Force the companies to take government bailout. Put the government in charge of everything. Wave bye-bye to freedom. And leave them folks in charge of it all.

Such a deal.

An Oldie, but another Goodie

The woman was incredulous.

“You went to the desert!?! What did you do for entertainment?”

My wife and I had just returned from a few days spent burrowing as deep into the desert as we could manage. We marveled at the scenery, the colored rock, the sunrise and set, and the scattered silver-gray puffs of plants that looked like they hadn’t done any useful photosynthesis in years. We tried to comprehend the silence and the star show at night, the solitude, and the subtle but persistent hint of danger. We slept in the back of our pick-up, drank water from a jerry can, and cooked simple meals over a camp stove.

Both of us attempted to stretch our finite minds to absorb the infinite scale of the place. Then we returned home exhausted but enthralled and renewed.

My wife’s friend doesn’t do things like this. I admit I rarely understand the activities that excite her, but I don’t remember asking her to explain her passion for these. However she was determined to get some justification from us for the week we had just expended. Why did we go to the desert?

Where do I start?

Let me tell you of a man I met once. Some day you may cross paths with one like him, but don’t be surprised if you are tempted to ignore him. Most everyone does.

He is an odd little man. He keeps to himself.

Like the stray cat that comes to your back door, you cannot just reach out to him or he will cut and run.

You may find he has a wall around him. If by chance he lets you through this wall you will find another, and perhaps a third. Like all walls, their purpose is to keep people away. This man has his reasons for the walls, for the protection they offer, but you probably will not learn of these.

His hands are rough and scarred, and his muscles taunt. He may be as old as he appears, but it is hard to tell. The wrinkles on his face tell their tale, and his eyes have a permanent squint from too many hours spent in the sun.

Look into those eyes and you will know someone lives in there. They speak of time and thought and finally, wisdom. Watch them transform from wary to warm without any other change in his features. From his perch at the periphery of the crowd he pretends to be somewhere else, but those eyes miss nothing.

He may have failed at everything, or he may have simply left success behind to be by himself. Never good at following directions, he can invent anything he needs. You cannot offer to pay him in order to gain some measure of control over him, for he doesn’t want your money.

He doesn’t need you.

But if the time is right and the whiskey good, he just might decide to talk. If you are smart, you will shut up and listen.

You may have to sort through some strange stories, because a lone imagination can wander into some funny places. But be patient and he will begin to teach you some of the workings of man’s mind.

He will know nothing of TV or recent movies, and he mostly reads old books. But since experience comes from things done wrong, he can speak from authority.

Let him talk. If you pay attention you will gain something important that the others always miss. Do not dismiss the man as they do, for he offers insight you cannot find anywhere else.

The Mojave Desert doesn’t need you either.

Most people ignore the desert while passing through at 85 MPH. They are going somewhere else and the desert is not a destination to them; it is just in the way.

Others come to the desert with their toys. They tear around on motorcycles or dune buggies. They gather in large groups, leave the lights on, and make lots of noise. They go into the desert without letting the desert into them.

A few lucky ones crawl away from the crowds and find solitude, darkness, and silence. They find colors and clouds, alien plants and stark beauty. They are not comfortable, for the desert is both too hot and too cold, and it certainly is not soft. But they are spellbound. They shut up and listen… and learn things they cannot learn anywhere else.

Refreshed and infused with new perspective, they can go home to suburbs and cities, to jobs and tedious people.

Perhaps they don’t wish to spend all their time with this odd little man, but they are glad to have met him.

“What did you do for entertainment?”

Sorry, but if you have to ask…