”What is it, Mork?”
“Greetings, your blimpness. I was preparing my regular report on the behavior of the inhabitants of this planet; however, I am confused. I wanted to tell you about religion and marriage, but like so many things earthlings do, sometimes these two institutions just do not make any sense.”
Loud sigh: “Well, Mork, why don’t you tell me all about it?”
“Today I was watching children in a school playground when I saw a first-grader stop to help tie the shoelaces for a younger child who could not. I felt so good when I saw the smiles on both faces as they walked their separate ways. Later, I observed another first grade student walk away from a small child whose shoes were also untied. Instead of helping, this student insulted the little mite and then walked away laughing, leaving the poor child sagging in tears.”
“None of this should surprise you Mork. You should know by now that humans like to do things to feel better about themselves; some of the inhabitants of that planet elevate themselves by helping others, while some merely try to feel superior by pushing others down. What does this have to do with religion and marriage?”
“Well, Orson, what I have found while watching earthlings is that their organizations act just like individual humans. These groups can bring out the best in humanity and sometimes they produce only the worst. For instance, the earthlings founded a multitude of different churches to provide a venue for spiritual growth and social structure. Each church has done this job a little differently, some even contradicting the rules and methods of its neighboring churches. But when they did their jobs well, no matter how differently, these churches greatly improved the lives of their denominations. However, when the churches competed among themselves, or when they had flawed leadership interested only in self-aggrandizement, they have been guilty of bringing out the worst in their members. Like a child laughing at an untied shoelace, the leaders of some churches urged members to turn against their neighbors, plaguing mankind with inquisitions, wars, and generations of discrimination and persecution. Instead of building on a foundation of love, some churches turned to hate.”
“Well, Mork, I suppose you are going to tell me that the churches have messed up marriage too.”
“Not always, Orsen. Usually marriage that is blessed by a church is wonderful. Churches have provided a framework that reinforces marriage commitments by defining traditions and rules of behavior. Humans clearly benefit from this kind of structure, but the same problems kept popping up. The thousands of different churches, with conflicting rules about marriage, often fought more with each other than with the Devil.
Some churches have attempted to corner the market on marriage by claiming they are the only moral authority, and that civil law is not. Despite objections from these churches, marriages based on civil laws have always taken place. I watched many marriages begin as a religious endeavor with vows made before a man of the Cloth. When these humans divorce, however, marriage quickly loses the illusion of its religious cloak to reveal its civil roots, as the two involved fight for the money. Yet, some churches are still trying to force everyone to marry their way.”
“Mork, does this report have anything to do with Prop 22, the Knight Initiative in California?”
“Yes Orsen, it does. These earthlings have thousands of ‘right ways’ to be married. With all the different rules that have been applied to marriage over the millennia, rules about the age, race, origins, wealth, and number of participants in a marriage, what possible harm could arise from including same gender marriage? But, I guess some people don’t see it this way. Vigorous opposition to same gender marriage arises from two distinct groups. Some of the loudest comes from folks who have never been happy except when they are harming others; these people are called bigots. They act like they expect to be forced into gay marriage if Knight fails. And the funds to promote Prop 22 come mostly from a few churches that persist in thinking that they alone have the fast track to God. Several churches that have hated each other for years have, nonetheless banded together in support of Knight. One of these churches has never recognized the marriages performed by any other church. Another still winks at its own fringe members who practice polygamy. Yet, these organizations proclaim themselves experts in marriage with a moral imperative to run everyone’s lives. I believe the earthlings call this living in a glass house. Orsen, you would think that a group who thinks it is OK to make one man happy by letting him marry several wives would also want to make two men happy by letting them marry each other.”
“Mork, you are being silly. You must realize that on that planet, rules have always been more important than people. If some folks get sacrificed in the process, it’s just too bad.”
“I know, Orsen, but it still seems a little sad.”
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