No Free Lunch

“Neither a borrower nor a lender be;

For loan oft loses both itself and friend,

And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.”

                                    Lord Polonius, Hamlet, 1602

In an uncommon disclaimer, I must confess to having suckled from the hind teat of government. During my last year of college somebody in the dean’s office let us know about a government loan program that had just become available to the veterinary students. We could borrow a substantial sum, if memory serves it was $1500.00, and they would toss in a $500.00 grant. Free money. I turned it down, for I had enough banked to get me through the rest of the year, and I didn’t want to be in debt when I graduated. Then someone more learned in these matters talked me into taking the offer.

I did what he said, and put the loan into the bank, and then paid back the note when it was due during my first year of employment. And I bought a new stereo with the $500.00 worth of free money from the grant.

Such a deal.

Now, before you drop me into the welfare cheat category, please remember…I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t seek it out. I just opened my hand when it dropped out of the sky. Free money. From the government.

Did it influence me to like my government more? Ah, no. This was in 1972 and we were enmeshed in the Vietnam War, and liking the government was not real high on my list. I suppose there might be some point where I might be bought by my government, but since I like and trust my government far less now than I did back in the 70’s, I don’t think that likely.

I figure that’s the point, you know. The government gives you some money, and that makes you like the government. Some politician makes it easier for you to capture government money, and you like that dude better, and you keep him in office. Buying votes…it’s as old as democracy itself.

The tradeoff is still there. The money comes your way, but now you are obligated, and thus you ship off your freedom in the other direction, and soon enough the government owns more of you, and the people who set up these deals become more deeply entrenched in power.

These days they still give some folks free money. Free food, free housing, free medical. Buy the poor folks’ votes. Free money and medical, and they buy the old folks’ votes.

Remember when the deal was easy credit? The government loosened the rules so anyone could borrow more than they could pay back. Did you notice the housing crash? Back in the 90’s our intrepid president garnered all kinds of voter support by making it crazy easy to borrow money to purchase a house. Expanded the middle class, because home ownership defines whether you made it to middle class, and boy will you love that president. Too bad when it all fell apart.

Twas inevitable, and those bastards knew it. But look who makes out like bandits when they repossess your dream. Think those bankers don’t know a few folks in government? Heck, they buy them lunch every once in a while just to be nice in return.

All those folks protesting in the streets lately finally recognized the trap they were in, but don’t you wonder about the simple greed they harbored when they signed up for that mostly free money, even though they had to know that there was no way the market could support such nonsense forever? They all blame somebody else, but where are the mirrors?

Education loans put some folks out on the streets protesting too. People borrowed unbelievable amounts of money to fund their educations, with no reasonable expectation that they could repay it once they were out and working. A hundred K borrowed for a graduate degree in English lit. A hundred and fifty for a law degree. Even more in my profession, where you can start working for 60K a year if you can find a job, and spend your entire adult life paying off that school loan.

Whatever were we thinking?

I thought the wakeup call had arrived. And then I saw a post on the internet from a student in veterinary medicine that made me kinda shake my head. This person has had a career before, and decided her life’s dream was still possible, so she went back to school and finally made it into veterinary college. She will be 45 when she graduates. And she will owe $350,000. That translates into $3500.00 a month for, oh, forever. I guess she can live on the twelve cents a month left after that, if she is supported by someone else.

Once wise people said that there was no such thing as a free lunch. Well, there ain’t no such thing as free money, either. Maybe, that was the plan all along. Maybe it was designed to crash. Break down the economy. Bust all the big companies and all the small businesses. Call upon the government to save us all. Use government to put folks to work. Force the companies to take government bailout. Put the government in charge of everything. Wave bye-bye to freedom. And leave them folks in charge of it all.

Such a deal.